WTF: A New Disorder
It is with great regret that I must announce the birth of a terrible new disease… Well, perhaps more of a disorder than a diseases. But terrible nonetheless. I call it FIADD, or Fashion-Induced Attention Deficit Disorder.
While Jess and I were on vacation in Paris this October, we wandered about from boutique to boutique, cafe to cafe, and museum to museum. But it was on that fateful day when we strolled up toward Place Vendome, with all of Jess’ “friends” – you know, Chanel, Dior, Balenciaga, etc… – that I realized that Jess had succumbed to this condition.
Now, some of you may be reading and wondering what the symptoms of FIADD are (just in case a loved one also has the disorder). Well, the first symptom can be seen in the eyes. As the fashionable objects of the subject’s desire begin to come within a reasonable distance, the subject’s eyes begin to dart from one window to another. If you look close enough, you can see the glimmer of all the shimmering and shining objects in the subject’s eyes.
The second symptom is a quickening of speech. It’s an unmistakable trait of FIADD. The closer the subject gets to her “friends”, the faster she will talk about them. Their latest shows, their latest lines…. The colours, the shapes, the fabrics… All a jumble of fashion-related jibber-jabber.
The third and final symptom is something akin to the directional attraction which affects mosquitoes. Indeed, much like a mosquito cannot avoid a source of light, the subject affected by FIADD cannot help but gravitate to the lovely vitrines which adorn the world’s fashion districts. But be careful! It can happen quickly! One moment, you’re slowly meandering the streets of Paris chatting about that steak tartare you enjoyed the night before, and the next thing you know, you’re talking to yourself, while the subject is glued to a window full of pretty and shiny things. (For reference, see the above photo).
So, word of advice: if you know someone who may be affected with FIADD, show some compassion and understanding. But most of all, hide your wallet!